It's one of those lessons that sometimes,  you really don't get it until you have an experience that 'forces' you to get it.  It's also one of the best ones that you can learn if you want to maintain your sanity.  You can't force a woman to like you and all of that time and energy that you might spend trying to make her feel that way... could be spent on something else like mingling with women who don't have to be forced to want to spend time with you.

Recently,  I was bringing up this point to a guy who was telling me about this woman he's had a crush on for a couple of years.  Digging deeper,  I found out that there were a couple of other women in his life that he thought might like him,  but for some reason he was stuck on that one who didn't feel that way.

I asked him if he thought the other women were good looking.  He said he did.

So,  I asked the obvious -  why was he wasting all of that time on that one he couldn't get,  when there were a couple that he probably could get and he thought they were good looking.

He gave me that look like a light bulb went off.

I saw him a little while after that... and he had made the move on one of the 'others' and he was dating her.

I asked him about the one he couldn't get and you know what?

He said he didn't care about that anymore.

There is a lesson there.

It's the last thing that you want to happen when you feel like you are in a good relationship.  Doing something that is going to kill a good thing is probably not high on your list of things to do,  yet sometimes,  you can do it without even realizing it.  If you are in a relationship right now and you are hoping that it is going to last,  it might be a good idea to become aware of some of the things that you can do that will potentially put you at risk for losing that good thing that you've got going.

Here are 5 almost guaranteed ways to kill a good relationship:

1 -  Getting jealous when guys flirt with her in front of you.

Dating a woman who looks good can be hard sometimes,  just because of the fact that you know other guys are going to think she is attractive.  That also usually means that some of them are going to flirt with her right in front of you and as much as you might hate that -  you can't let her see you get all jealous about it.  It's not like it is something that she can control,  if a guy wants to flirt with her,  he's probably going to do it.  What you have to keep in mind is that you are still the guy who is actually dating her and that guy who is flirting with your girlfriend probably wishes that he could be you.

2 -  Making her choose you over her friends.

There was this one woman that I dated for about a year and to be honest,  I couldn't really stand most of her friends.  They just were not the kind of people that I would hang out with on my own.  The only time I would be around those kind of people was when I was with her.  You know what,  though?  I didn't let her know it.  Most of the time,  if you try to make a woman choose between her friends and you,  you aren't going to like the results.  Even if she does end up choosing you,  that doesn't mean that she isn't going to harbor some animosity towards you for making her make that choice.  Just deal with it and know that at the end of the night,  it's her that you are going to be with anyway.

3 -  Telling her too much about previous relationships.

Women do usually want to know about your past relationships,  but that doesn't mean that they want to hear the whole story or hear about them too often.  Telling her what she needs to know when she wants to know it is one thing,  but revealing too much about previous relationships can end up being a relationship killer.  Even if it doesn't kill it outright,  it can make things seem tense and uncomfortable when the subject comes up and there is no real reason for that.

4 -  Talking negatively about her family.

You might think that her brother is a complete bore and her dad is just flat out annoying and that her sister sleeps around too much,  however,  you might also want to keep those things to yourself.  Bringing that kind of thing out into the open will usually just make things worse between you and her and there isn't much of an incentive to tell her how you really feel about her family.  Take it on the chin when you have to spend time with them if you don't care for them too much,  but don't make a point of telling her how you really feel if that is just going to end up being a negative discussion.

5 -  Cheating on her.

Of course this is one of those "duh" kind of statements,  but it still has to be said.  If there is one thing that can kill a relationship rather quickly,  it is cheating.  Just because you might have wandering eyes,  it doesn't mean that you need to act on anything and the moment that you do -  is the same moment that you might effectively be saying good bye to your girlfriend and destroying the relationship at the same time.  Keep it in your pants if you want the relationship to have a chance at lasting.

So what happens when you do screw things up and your relationship unravels and your girlfriend becomes your ex?

Check this site out:  http://geturgirl.com/index.php?p=1_6_Get-Your-Ex-Girl-Back where you can download a free guide on getting back your ex girlfriend.

This video has some good advice as well if you want to see things from a woman's perspective dealing with trust,  which can also end up killing a good relationship when there is a lack of trust.

It can be kind of hard to stop being this way if it is the way that you have been for a long time,  but if you really want to make women see you as an alpha male type,  you have to stop trying to be everything to everyone.  Being the kind of guy who will let people run all over him and take advantage of you is definitely not going to make women think of you as being an alpha male in the slightest.  It also probably doesn't feel that good if you tend to be that guy that gets taken advantage of.

There are plenty of women who will do that,  if they know that they can.

Let me tell you a story about Mark.

Mark is a good guy.  He wants people to like him and he is always quick to lend a helping hand.  Sometimes that means that he gets taken advantage of.  Mark goes out to a club one night and meets Mandy.  Mandy is pretty,  she knows how to come across as really sexy and alluring and Mark is smitten from the moment that he lays eyes on her.  She can tell right away just the kind of guy he is.  She flirts with him,  she leads him on.  He takes her home that night,  but not in the way that you are thinking.  He drives her back to her apartment and drops her off.  Doesn't even bother to go in for the kiss because he doesn't want her to think he is just trying to get her in bed or something.

Over the course of the next few weeks,  Mark is still smitten by Mandy.  He calls her up all of the time,  whenever she implies that she needs something,  he just happens to go out and buy it for her.  They spend a lot of time with one another,  but never really get physical.  She pecks him on the lips real quickly every now and again and that is all that it takes to keep Mark coming back for more.

Next thing you know,  Mark has spent a couple grand on Mandy and she is still not even his girlfriend.  He kind of thinks that she is,  but she is totally not.  They go out to a club together and Mark swears that they are going as a couple.  While they are there,  Mandy locks eyes with Travis.  Travis is a bad boy,  wouldn't spend a dime on her and is totally about trying to get her into bed.

Before the night is over,  Mandy is fooling around with Travis in the corner of the club.  Mark is standing against the wall,  still a little naive to what is actually going on.  Mandy comes back to him and tells him that she is going to stay and that he can go home if she wants to.  Finally,  Mark gets it.  He sees her run back over to Travis and he sees Travis palming her backside.  Mark goes home alone,  feeling like a loser,  his bank account near empty.

There are a lot of Marks out there and there definitely are a lot of Mandys.  You don't want to be a Mark and end up getting played like that.  It will happen,  though,  if you are the type that tries to be everything to everybody,  because women like Mandy can spot you from a mile away and they KNOW how to get what they want from you.

You don't have to just worry about giving off the right or wrong impression to a woman when you first meet her.  You have to worry about that to some extent throughout the relationship.  Learning that the hard way can be tough,  because it usually comes at the expense of the relationship.  It's usually when a guy gets dumped by the woman that he is dating that he finally realizes that he slacked off a bit or he started to act the wrong way around his girlfriend and that is why she lost her attraction to him.

What happens when you want her back,  though?

Well... most guys will do something like this:  They will make it well known to their ex girlfriend that they are stuck on her.  And they do that because they assume that it is the right thing to do.  However,  it usually isn't.

Here is what happens when she knows that you are stuck on her:

1)  You are in no way a challenge to her at all.  She already knows that she can have you whenever and wherever she wants and that takes that chase element out of things.

2)  You become a fall back option.  You are now someone that she knows that she can get with if she can't find anyone else.  Kind of like,  you'll take the generic brand at the grocery store when that is all that they have,  but what you really want is the national brand.  Not exactly the way that you want your ex girlfriend to see you,  is it?

3)  You become emotionally controlled by her.  The funny thing about this is,  she doesn't even really have to do a thing to control you.  She might not even want to do that.  But you will let her because any little thing that she does,  you'll analyze to see what it means.  You'll get heart broken if she ignores you,  even if otherwise you were having a great day.

There are better things that you can do to try and win back your ex girlfriend that have nothing to do with letting her know that you are still stuck on her.  Most of the time,  those things are going to be much more effective anyway,  so you might as well focus on those things and forget about making it know to her that you are stuck on her.

Have you ever liked a woman and found out that some other guy had their eye on her as well?

Have you ever been in a club and approached a woman,  only to see that there were other guys who were trying to move in?

Competition amongst men for good looking women can sometimes be fierce.  I've known guys who actually went out and bought a car that they could not afford just because they thought it might make a woman they liked find them a little more appealing than another guy.

Should you have to compete with other guys like that?  I mean going out and spending money that you don't have just to buy something that "might" make her like you,  that's a little bit wacky,  no?

Well,  the fact is,  you do have to compete to a certain degree.  Though you probably don't have to go out and buy things that you can't afford.

Truth is,  if you are going to go after good looking women,  you'd be a fool to think that you were the only one that had his eyes set on her.  There are definitely going to be others.

There is an EASY way to compete with other guys that doesn't really feel like competing at all.

That is... by having the personality that she likes to be around the most.

If you are the guy that she thinks about when she wants to have a good time,  it doesn't matter if another guy has a better car,  a better house or job.  It's going to be YOU that she ends up spending her time with.

So,  yeah,  you do have to compete with other guys... just let them do all of the silly things like spending money that they don't have or hitting the gym for hours on end... while you work on being that fun guy that she can count on to have a good time with.

You'll win most of the time if you do that... and the women that you lose out on... will probably be the ones that are more concerned with money or other superficial things... so you'll be better off in the end anyway.

When you like a woman,  whether you already know her or she has just caught your eye,  you really don't have much of a chance of attracting her if she doesn't know you exist.  I've had talks with guys who will tell me about their "crush" that they have and one of the first things that I always ask is,  does she even know you?

The reason is simple.  She might end up thinking that you are AWESOME,  the perfect guy if she knows you.  You might find that getting her to go out on a date with you is dead easy... if she knows who you are.

On the other hand,  if she doesn't even know that you are alive...

You don't have a snowball's chance in hell.

What can you do to make sure that you are known to a woman?

• Talk to her
• Make eye contact with her long enough that she sees you,  but not long enough that you look like the crazy guy leering at her.
• Talk to her

Yeah,  I put talk to her twice for a reason.  The way that you make yourself known to a woman is dead simple.

You talk to her.  Say what's up,  tell her your name,  whatever.

Just talk to her.

There are guys that will do all sorts of funny stuff to try and get a woman to notice them.  They will act like a fool,  they will dress like a clown,  when all they have to do is gather up the balls to walk over to her and talk to her.

Let the other guys do the foolish stuff.

While they are trying to make themselves known to a woman... you'll be actually doing it.

Dancing is often looked at as one of those things that guys just don't want to do and I get that.  However,  there are some who would suggest that knowing a little bit about dancing won't help you when it comes to getting women and you know what?

I've never really found that to be true.

I've found that it DOES help.

Not to say that you have to become excellent at it or even become one of those guys who just wants to get out and dance for the sake of dancing.

But,  if you want to take a woman out on a second or third date... it's really not a bad option.

And it isn't that bad for meeting women either.

Clubs are usually packed with women and even though they might not really be looking to hook up with anyone,  if you can slide in for a few dances and THEN get her talking afterwards... it's usually a good thing.

Yeah,  you can still be a bad boy and do a little dancing.  It won't kill your game,  in fact,  it might actually help it out a little bit.

You could say that just about all of your success with women will hinge on your ability to make conversation.  Unless you were born with movie star good looks and got a little gift from the gene fairy,  you are going to have to be able to hold a woman's attention while talking to her.  That's just the way that it goes and there is no sense in denying that reality.  If you are having a hard time making small talk with women,  chances are good that you are also having a hard time attracting women.  The two generally go hand in hand.

Making small talk with women is easy,  but only if you let it be easy.

If you feel like you have to always be on point with the things that you say,  chances are you are going to end up blowing it when you have the opportunity to talk to a woman,  simply because you are going to be putting way too much pressure on yourself.

It needn't be that way at all.

Here are some things that can get a little bit of small talk going:

• Talk about music with her.  Most women love to talk about music,  so it's one of those topics that you can almost always use as a go to when you can't think of anything to say.

• Talk about her hobbies and interests.  People like to talk about themselves,  they really do.  Getting a woman to open up about the things that she likes is one slick way to get a conversation going that she actually enjoys.

• Talk to her about your hobbies and interests.  You want to come across like a guy who does things.  Not like a guy who lives a boring life.  So open up about the things that you like to do.  Just make sure that you don't make the entire conversation seem like you are trying to "sell" yourself to her.

• Talk to her about nonsensical things.  This is a good way to keep a conversation light and funny.  It's a good way to show a woman that you are not some uptight guy who can't live a little.

Whenever a guy is having trouble attracting women,  he can use a little polishing up in the conversation department.  Take the time to make small talk with women just for the hell of it.  Just do it to have some fun,  gain experience,  and get a little bit better. 

It'll be worth it.

Everyone has had to ask this question before. It's one of those taboo things that guys don't seem to want to ask; who knows why. What really gets me is that a lot of men don't actually know how to properly apply mens cologne.

That's right; you too may be wasting money and not getting the results you deserve from your chosen fragrance. Let's go over the best places on your body to spray some 'magic juice', as well as a few other things you should know.

You have probably sprayed cologne on your clothes at one time or another hoping that the smell would last. This is exactly the opposite of what you want to do. Clothes are not a hotspot and therefore will cause the smell of the pheromone to dissipate rapidly. Not only that, but by spraying cologne on your clothing you won't give the fragrance a chance to react with your body the way it is meant to.

What are these hotspots then? Hotspots are areas on your body that produce more heat than others. Some of these hotspots are also called pulse points. These include the wrists, neck, and back of ears. All of these points produce heat and allow the fragrance to react with your body. It is recommended that you apply your mens cologne to these points if you need to smell good for the night. Air will constantly hit the fragrance at these points, and the smell will not last as long as if applied to the other spots we will discuss below.

Why would I recommend you wear perfume on these spots if the smell might not last all day? It is really simple. When you go out at night you are usually leaning in and talking to women, etc. With the smell being out in the air as well as around your neck area, the aroma will be a little more "out there".

You are probably asking "then where do I apply a fragrance if I need the scent to last longer for work or something"? The answer is; since air will quench the scent faster, you want to wear your fragrance under your clothes. This will cause the scent to linger evenly through the day. The best hotspots for this are the wrists, chest area, back, and thighs.

The one thing that remains constant no matter what your situation, is don't overspray the perfume! Keep it subtle. Two to three sprays is all you need. Of course use your judgment, but too little is better than too much here. If you have 'splash' cologne that doesn't spray, just put your index finger over the bottle opening, and tip the bottle. That way you won't pour too much on.

Now there is no excuse for not wearing your mens cologne properly, or not wearing a pheromone at all!