You don't have to just worry about giving off the right or wrong impression to a woman when you first meet her.  You have to worry about that to some extent throughout the relationship.  Learning that the hard way can be tough,  because it usually comes at the expense of the relationship.  It's usually when a guy gets dumped by the woman that he is dating that he finally realizes that he slacked off a bit or he started to act the wrong way around his girlfriend and that is why she lost her attraction to him.

What happens when you want her back,  though?

Well... most guys will do something like this:  They will make it well known to their ex girlfriend that they are stuck on her.  And they do that because they assume that it is the right thing to do.  However,  it usually isn't.

Here is what happens when she knows that you are stuck on her:

1)  You are in no way a challenge to her at all.  She already knows that she can have you whenever and wherever she wants and that takes that chase element out of things.

2)  You become a fall back option.  You are now someone that she knows that she can get with if she can't find anyone else.  Kind of like,  you'll take the generic brand at the grocery store when that is all that they have,  but what you really want is the national brand.  Not exactly the way that you want your ex girlfriend to see you,  is it?

3)  You become emotionally controlled by her.  The funny thing about this is,  she doesn't even really have to do a thing to control you.  She might not even want to do that.  But you will let her because any little thing that she does,  you'll analyze to see what it means.  You'll get heart broken if she ignores you,  even if otherwise you were having a great day.

There are better things that you can do to try and win back your ex girlfriend that have nothing to do with letting her know that you are still stuck on her.  Most of the time,  those things are going to be much more effective anyway,  so you might as well focus on those things and forget about making it know to her that you are stuck on her.

Can you be a bad boy and still do the relationship thing with a woman you really like?

I think you can.  I don't see why not.  There are plenty of high profile bad boys that find that one woman that they just feel that magic with and they don't think twice about doing the relationship thing. 

For most guys,  that's kind of the whole point.

To have the skills to attract your dream girl and then end up being suave enough that you can keep her attracted to you.

If that is going to happen...

You have to maintain your status.

You can't be the bad boy when you are just having some fun and then go to being a total wuss with a woman once you become her steady boyfriend.

That's something that you have to fight.

A lot of guys wonder why they end up losing their girlfriend when they think that they are doing all of the right things.  What they usually have ended up doing is all of the wussy things and they lost that edge that she dug when she first met him.

You don't want that to happen,  or else you'll end up single again and wondering what you did wrong.

Maintain your status.  That doesn't mean that you can't do sweet things for her now and again.  You totally can if you also still have that edge that she was attracted to in the first place.

It's when that edge wears off that the sparks start to die out and the relationship comes to an end.

We've all had that one girlfriend that stood out from the rest.

Maybe she was the prettiest woman that you've ever dated.  Maybe she was the most caring or kind.  Or,  maybe she just knew how to have a good time and being around her put you in a totally different state of mind.

When you have a woman that you just can't get over,  it makes you think about the what if?

What if you could have another chance with her?

What if she still thought about you?

What if things had been different and you and her had never broken up.

While you are thinking about all of those things,  it can be good to identify that there is or was a quality that she had that you really dug.  Something about her that made you feel like she was the one.

So,  what you really might be after is someone that has that quality and of course,  since she is the one that you identify with that quality... she is the first image that is going to pop into your mind.

That doesn't mean that it has to be her though.

That might just mean that you know what you really like and if you could find another woman that had that same quality,  you'd be falling head over for heels for that one.

I'm cool with the idea that some guys want to get back with their ex girlfriend.  I don't think that is always a bad thing.  I do think that sometimes it just has to do with the fact that she had that quality that you were really after,  and it is more that quality that you were attracted to than it was her.

Have you ever liked a woman and found out that some other guy had their eye on her as well?

Have you ever been in a club and approached a woman,  only to see that there were other guys who were trying to move in?

Competition amongst men for good looking women can sometimes be fierce.  I've known guys who actually went out and bought a car that they could not afford just because they thought it might make a woman they liked find them a little more appealing than another guy.

Should you have to compete with other guys like that?  I mean going out and spending money that you don't have just to buy something that "might" make her like you,  that's a little bit wacky,  no?

Well,  the fact is,  you do have to compete to a certain degree.  Though you probably don't have to go out and buy things that you can't afford.

Truth is,  if you are going to go after good looking women,  you'd be a fool to think that you were the only one that had his eyes set on her.  There are definitely going to be others.

There is an EASY way to compete with other guys that doesn't really feel like competing at all.

That is... by having the personality that she likes to be around the most.

If you are the guy that she thinks about when she wants to have a good time,  it doesn't matter if another guy has a better car,  a better house or job.  It's going to be YOU that she ends up spending her time with.

So,  yeah,  you do have to compete with other guys... just let them do all of the silly things like spending money that they don't have or hitting the gym for hours on end... while you work on being that fun guy that she can count on to have a good time with.

You'll win most of the time if you do that... and the women that you lose out on... will probably be the ones that are more concerned with money or other superficial things... so you'll be better off in the end anyway.

I am usually not one who is big on any mindset talk,  just because it usually ends up getting all New Age really quickly and that's just not my thing.  However,  I am going to try to talk about having the right mindset for attracting women and getting a girlfriend without going into a spiel that makes it sound like you can magically attract a woman into your life.

The average mindset of a guy who isn't doing all that well with the ladies is that he kind of doesn't think that he really has a chance with most women and he feels like he should be grateful for whatever female attention that he can get.  I know plenty of guys who look at dating in that way,  and they usually don't end up with their dream girlfriend or even their dream relationship situation. 

They usually end up being frustrated and saying things like,  "I'd like to go the game,  but you know the girlfriend won't let me."

Or,  they end up being the guy who buys drinks for just about every girl in the club, but they go home alone.

Either way,  they aren't really having that much fun and that's a shame.

When you change the way that you see things and you feel like you DO deserve to have a great woman in your life,  you DO deserve to be able to do the things that you want,  and you DON'T have to buy things for women to like you... things will change and it is all because you are coming from a different state of mind.

Instead of hoping that a woman will pay attention to you and being thrilled if she does,  you'll know that you deserve female attention and it shouldn't come at the cost of your wallet,  your dignity, or your way of life.

So,  what exactly do you need to do to cultivate that kind of mindset so that it is easier for you to get a girlfriend?

1)  You need to be willing to walk away from a woman.  If you don't have that willingness,  then you will put up with anything.  You'll be that guy who has a girlfriend that treats him like dirt and you'll take it.  Or,  you'll be that guy that gets put in the friend zone and doesn't have a chance of being anything other than a guy who will do a woman favors when she needs them.

2)  You need to be confident enough in yourself to know that you deserve female attention.  You really can't expect to get attention unless you feel like you do deserve it,  otherwise you'll make yourself small in social situations and then wonder why you aren't getting much play from women at all.

3)  You need to understand that rejection is a part of this game and its not that big of a deal.  Having this kind of mindset will allow you to bounce back when you don't get a warm response from a woman.  It'll allow you to move on to the next one until you find the one that you actually click with.